Spring Time!

Oh, Blog it has been so long since I have typed my thoughts! I think the new spring weather has given me inspiration to carry on in my writing endeavors.

I was looking through my old journal entries today and came across one that matched by delight in anticipation of new springtime adventures. Every time I travel, during this season, I find many vehicles with canoes strapped on top and I become jealous. Jealous for the adventure of what spring/summer holds. So, in my mind I write the adventurer a letter...

Dear Jeep Cherokee with the canoe on your roof,
You are so cool. You probably didn't notice me on the road, but I was the curly, brown headed girl in the bluish grey Versa belting out the words to "Play that Funky Music White Boy." You might have seen me, and chuckled at my silly behavior. Whatever the case may be, we travel the same interstate. You have not escaped my notice, and though our destinations may be different, I wonder....what adventure lies ahead?"

So, here I am daydreaming about adventure, when there are multiple stacks of paper to grade. Papers or no papers, I love this weather and so what do I do? I take Shakespeare to the park. The sun on my skin, the breeze in my hair gives me a little happiness and I feel renewed. I think that if Shakespeare was really with me he would agree with my mood and he would recite his sonnet, "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?/ Thou art more lovely and more temperate." He knew the summer was beautiful, so I take him to the park.

Words

Overwhelmed, stressed, pulled, stretched, and worn out are words that would enter my mind and body and just stay there festering as if to plant themselves inside me for a long period of time. "Just survive, Dana", "you are a new teacher, all you can do is just take one day at a time and hope for the best." Words, too many words, none of them meaning anything but sadness. I spent the last few months discouraged. Yes, as a new teacher I am just trying to survive and feel like I'm not doing a very good job at it. No matter the lesson plan I felt like, again, words would circulate the air around me - hit the wall - and fall flat on the floor. It was not only in the classroom. I felt disconnected from friends, as if none of my words that formed into stories were clever enough, relate able enough, wise enough. In my prayers, again, my words felt like they hit the ceiling then fell back to the ground. At home, I would want to talk - let the words loose to fly free and land in someone else's ears to return to me with advice or at least have a landing place, other than the floor. But at home, there is no one. It is a place devoid of words and the silence eats me alive sometimes.

"Dana, you are feeling sorry for yourself." "You are too hard on yourself." I know, I know. All, I can say in response to this battle with words is that it is honestly how I feel, or well felt. Do I want to walk around with a rain cloud over my head? No! So, things are going to change. I don't know how, but I'm going to try.

CHILD OF GOD's!!!!! So, through HIM you are all of those things... STRONG, MIGHTY, POWERFUL, ANNOINTED, KIND, BRAVE. These are the words that I want to fill my mind and body with, especially the Brave part. Being strong is one thing I have never considered myself. The word itself gives a connotation of greatness. I want to feel connected again, I don't want silence to slowly degrade me. So, thanks to my friend Jenny, a suggestion to surround myself with little bits of happiness in the hopes of reminding me who I really am, has opened the door to better thoughts. Today's happiness - little Elvine. Elvine is my compassion child. Her picture is posted on my refrigerator and even though I do not know her, I love her. Just seeing her picture makes me smile. Still there is silence, but I'm finding some joy in it.

Here is the simple truth.... Life is hard, but God is good and He brings those bits of happiness to my heart. So, I open my mind, body and heart in preparation to hear words of hope, happiness, and joy.

Never Underestimate the Power of a Lazy Saturday

(pictured: first day of school )

It has been two weeks now since I started my new job as a tenth grade teacher of English Literature. Tired does not even begin to describe the state my body has been in after grueling hours spent in a high school, with about a hundred teenagers who didn't want to be there. I've gone through locker wars with another teacher, gone on scavenger hunts, around school, for technology to use in my classroom and have already written six referrals on students for discipline. Thankful for this job, I endure these small issues with a smile, slightly hoping school life will calm down, just a bit, in the weeks to come. It only took eight days for all of this to happen .... I wonder how the next 8 will play out.
With only six hours of sleep each night, for the past two weeks, I welcomed this Saturday with more time in bed. Since starting my new job, sleeping in means waking up at 8am feeling quite rested, but also means staying in my PJs until noon. Around 10 o'clock this morning I had already caught up on the shows I had missed during the week, by watching them online, so I made myself a ham and cheese omelet complete with a mug of starbucks coffee to warm my insides. Ahh, the bliss of drinking a warm cup of coffee, flavored with a pinch of hazelnut and a dash of cream, just makes the day better. The ring of my phone shook me away from my daydream, but transferred me into girl talk with one of best friends, Tara. It was in the middle of our catch up time that I was caught by surprise. My friend, a marine who is fighting in Afghanistan, was on the other line. With a quick switch from girl talk I gladly entered into marine talk. It had been months since I'd talked to this particular friend, and just hearing his voice made it seem like he wasn't so far away, in a war zone - a different world, sometimes feeling like a different planet.
(pictured: me and Tara )

It wasn't until 1 o'clock that I was actually able to step away from the phone and finally take a shower. I think I still had school grim on me from the previous day at work; my face was so oily my glasses kept sliding off my nose, my feet had a peculiar smell, and I think I actually heard the shower beg me to enter in and wash it all away. Delighted at the grim being gone from my body, I followed the smell of jasmine mixing with water through the room and felt inspired to clean the rest of the house. The couch even got cleaned. I even took a couple of breaks in my cleaning to swing my hips and tap my foot to the melodies coming from my ipod. It was a good day.
It's 5 o'clock now and I am sipping on a pineapple, raspberry smoothie waiting for 7 o'clock to arrive so that I can visit with my friend Tara. The girl talk on the phone earlier transpired into scheduling a girl visit time this evening filled with crafts and cookies. So, here I am - happy to be lazy, glad it's Saturday, anxiously awaiting time spent with friends. Never underestimate the power of a lazy Saturday, it will do wonders to your soul.

Day 2

June 12, 2010 - Day 2 of my journey to Africa (remember these are journal entries so the writing is a bit choppy and rough)

Last night's flight from Detroit to Amsterdam was miserable. The seats were squished, my back hurt so badly the whole seven hours I was in the air and I think I got one whole hour of sleep. Before the flight began, I met a man and his wife who were heading to Turkey. They were really nice and when I woke up from my one hour of rest they had saved some breakfast for me.
I wasn't very hungry though, I had been traveling non-stop since 11:15 yesterday morning and somewhere in the middle of it lost eight hours from time changes. My adventurous spirit has been crushed. I think I am so tired I can't think straight or focus on anything.
In Amsterdam I was thankful to walk around the airport for exercise... you know stretch the legs, straighten the back all the while looking for burnt orange T-Shirts that displayed the words "Share International". It was our one identifying symbol, I could just hear Sammy's parting advice - "you'll met the team in Amsterdam, you'll recognize them by their orange T-Shirts" echoing in my head. He was right. I met up with the rest of the team and became suddenly sad that I was the only one who didn't know anyone else. The rest of the team all knew each other and I began to feel like an outsider.
Note to self: Traveling by yourself is fun for the first two hours, then it becomes lonely and boring.
I think the weariness in my bones is affecting my thought process - must get rest soon.
So here I was with my teammates Dr. Rebecca, Renee, Mary and Gary Boswell, Tina, Peggy and Terry ready to go through security and board the plane. Renee and I are the youngest by about 11 years or so.
Going through security in Amsterdam was another not so fun thing. I felt like I had been violated as the security lady felt me, and searched me for the non-existent metal on my body. Too close for comfort if you ask me.
The plane to Kenya was quite large, it was the yacht of planes for the air instead of the sea. I had never seen such a big plane - it had stairs inside leading to an upper deck. Who knew something so big could fly? I think the Wright brothers would be impressed. I felt like a wide-eyed little girl who had stepped into a city for the first time. I sat next to a young man, about my age, headed to the World Cup. He's from Baltimore and second generation Ghana. He was cool, doesn't like flying though, so I was a bit chatty with him to ease his mind - or at least get it off the fact that he was in the air. I sometimes wonder what people think about me when I first meet them - especially on trips like this with only a plane ride of conversation. Do they think I am a quiet girl? a missionary kid? a nerdy wanna be teacher?a train wreck? Whatever the case, I don't think they can truly know the real me from a plane ride. Especially a plane ride in which you have had no sleep in the past 12 hours and have been flying nonstop the day before. Yes, I know - bitterness.
Well I do have 8 hours to go on this flight, I hope to get some sleep, I am so exhausted already - it's 10:45 am here and 2:45pm at home so that explains alot. Wait - did I take my malaria medicine today? Blasted time changes.
7:25pm - landing in Narobi! The big plane provided great sleeping time. I slept for about 5 1/2 hours if the flight - though I must admit I'm sure I looked funny moving around for my back pain trying to fit just right in the seat (stupid scoliosis). I know I slept with my mouth open for a bit. Let's just say I don't look pretty when I sleep.
Customs, thank the Lord was not a problem and seeing Sammy's face was a huge relief. We quickly packed into vans and were introduced to the bumpy roads of Africa. In Narobi, Korat to be exact, we received our room assignments, watched a bit of the world cup and then headed to bed. Renee and I will be roommates for the entire journey and I'm glad. She is a really sweet girl.

Just me and a Carry On - My journey to Kenya, Africa

On June 11th 2010 I headed to Africa for an amazing adventure. It was there that I fell in love with the African people, it was there that God stretched me, used me and filled me with his presence. In a couple of weeks a few of my closest friends are going to go on this same journey. I am so excited for them and with them traveling so soon it has caused me to look back in my journal from last year. I remember Mary Marimi saying, " Don't forget Africa." In an effort to remember I wanted to post some of my journal entry excerpts.

June 11, 2010

Well, it's time to begin my adventure to Africa. Sitting here in the Monroe, LA airport with my distressed khakis, Tom shoes, loose blouse, and passport pouch around my neck I already feel like a world traveler. The airport is small, it has only three gates and a variety of passengers waiting to board. We all have two things in common - a rolling carry on suitcase and eyes fixed on the TV displaying the World Cup events in South Africa. I've been asked a couple of times if I'm going to the World Cup, but that is not my destination. I'll have to watch soccer from a far. I wonder how many people are going to a far away country, like me. A little boy, sitting with his family, is playing with binoculars and I wonder what sort of adventure they are going on. Then, I wonder why I didn't pack binoculars myself.

Today was day one of taking malaria pills and I feel slightly nauseated. Although, I can't help but wonder if that is the result of nervousness, malaria pill side effects, or the lack of sleep I've had. Anne Lord came over last night to keep me company, run some last minute errands, and to help me pack my carry on. We were up until two in the morning. I am so thankful for that time spent with her - she knew just what I needed. I am so blessed to have her in my life.

So, it's just me and this carry on for two weeks. A packing feat I am proud to have conquered. As a girl this can prove problematic, but with the skill of rolling clothes and packing light I managed to fit everything and still have room. Call me next time you need to pack and I'll teach you my ways. I have to admit I'm a little nervous traveling by myself to Amsterdam. Images from the movie Taken play in my head, and feelings of loneliness are evident from my lack of companionship. But, there is something adventurous and enjoyable about trekking it solo for a little while. Maybe if I pretend I'm in a movie the nervousness will go away....

In the flight from Monroe to Atlanta I found it amazing to fly over the clouds (I don't know why, it is not my first time flying). They were so big and fluffy. In the sea of blue the magnitude of clouds reminded me of a scene from the movie Finding Nemo - the part when Dory swims into a cluster of jellyfish. Here I was in my own sea in the air looking at the harmless cluster of jellyfish looking substances.

On my flight from Atlanta to Detroit a fly landed on my arm. A fly in an airplane? Seems slightly oxymoron - like , on some level. I wonder if the pressure from the altitude kills the fly - or does it fly while we fly? Can it even survive a flight? These are the things that run through my mind when I have four flights in a row to catch.

Note to self: tell Dad about taking off in the plane - Pilot said we're number one for take off - reminds me of Brian Regan.

The fly is still alive - survived the flight.

What do you think?

I was looking through some of my old photos and decided to post some of my favorites. Tell me what you think?

My Best Buds

These are my best buds, with the exception of a few people that are not pictured. I could not imagine doing life without these people. Whether it be a text message, email, letter, note on my car, or a silent prayer my life is enriched by their presence in it. I am going through a rough spot right now and though every weakness in me tells me that I am alone in this battle, all I have to do is look at this picture and I know I've got battle buddies. It is their constant love, support, and encouragement that inspires me, motivates me, and challenges me. I am truly honored and blessed to have these individuals in my life. They are more than just friends, they are family and I love them. So, I write this to remind me - they've got my back, that I'm not alone and that I truly am blessed by them. I wouldn't want to "do life" with anyone one else but these guys. Though some now live far away, I know they are still close in spirit and just a phone call away. So, to these best buds I say, "Thank you for filling my life with love, support and encouragement. I love you all, and you mean more to me than you'll ever know. Thank you for being my family."

Pictured besties: Brian Foster, Connor Beech, Matthew Kirby, Zach Binns, Melanie Binns, Beth Foster, Matt Stone, Tara Stone.
Not Pictured besties: Meredith Maines, Laura Beech, Elizabeth Turpin, Stephen Turpin, Emily and Jason Howell, Anne Lord.