The Beauty of God's Silent

For years I had been tormented with the idea that God was silent in my life. As if the very nature of those words meant something bad, or even worse that God was distant. If He didn't answer me then surely He wasn't there. Shouts of "Why?" or "Can't you hear me, Lord?" were exclamations that occupied my mind and my heart. Sadly, because of that mentality I fear that at times I had failed to recognize the divine presence in my life. Why is it that when God is silent we automatically think He isn't there? What is it about His silence do we actually fear? The Lord tells us He will never leave us so why fret? Franis Chan states in his book Forgotten God, that "it is safer for us to avoid situations where we need God then to stake it all on Him and risk God's silence. " This is where our thoughts live. We don't go to God because we are afraid that God will be silent. But here's the deal, God's silence is not a bad thing.
Have you ever been in a room with someone you love very dearly and yet neither of you speak to one another? You don't feel forgotten by this person you feel so comfortable and intimate with them that there are no words needed to validate your relationship. Even if you are burdened with something and you tell them; yet they have no words there is love shown by the fact that they are there for you. The Spirit has awaken me to the idea that God's silence is one of intimacy. His answer of silence means He wants you to delight in Him and know Him more. His silence means He has it all under control and all we need to do is trust. I think so often I look for the earthquake and fire when I need to be listening for the small voice(1 Kings 19). It is in this silence that comes a process of stillness in which we can grow in our identity as the beloved. So maybe instead of being fearful of God's silence we can look forward to it.

The ticking noise

Sometimes I wonder how such a small creature can make a grown woman stand on her bed as if it were a raft drifting in the middle of the sea. I sat there stranded on my mattress looking at the bedroom floor in search for that little ticking noise that was driving me nuts. I just knew it was a bug. Even worse I figured it was a roach. Just two days ago I saw one creep from under my desk, wiggle his little antenna, and then scurry back under the desk before I could squish it. He had some nerve showing his face, taunting me, with an attitude that he was somehow quicker and smarter than I. Oh, he held the power to keep me on my toes all right. It was like walking on eggshells every time I came into the room. I was so nervous he would show up again while I was sitting at my desk doing homework. Just this time I was afraid he would land on me. After a couple of days of no show I put that pesky roach out of my mind. Until tonight. I came in to my room and immediately heard a strange ticking noise. I had my sister come check it out, but of course, when she came in the ticking stopped. I knew I wasn't going crazy but maybe it was just the plastic walmart bag crinkling in the corner. But it wouldn't stop. My bed became my only safety as I searched over the endless sea of hardwood to find the source of the noise. I finally found it. It was a bug, I was right, only smaller than a roach and mostly dead. It's ticking made it jump and I threw a flip flop over it. The ticking stopped. It's still there, dead under the flip flop. I just hope the "you know what" under my desk is gone too.